by Johnny McNeill – unpublished author of ‘Gaslighting Gilligan’ (released from Berlin on 25th June 2017).
“The trouble with fiction is that it makes too much sense… Reality never makes sense”. Aldous Huxley
This initial PDF version of my book Gaslighting Gilligan is *FREE* as it is my first (perhaps only) attempt at writing and is not yet professionally edited structured etc.
However I felt morally compelled to get it into the public domain which I began doing from Berlin on 25th June 2017. As such any donations for free copies (there’s no obligation) are greatly appreciated via the ‘Donate’ button in the About section in the menu, where you can download your copy of the book.
A paradigm shift in the meaning of ‘domestic abuse’…
Gaslighting Gilligan by Johnny McNeill
Whether you are a male or female survivor or currently a victim (you may not even realise it) of psychological and emotional domestic abuse as well as perhaps financial and violent abuse, I hope my book can resonate with you. And perhaps even help you escape the torment, not simply from the physical environment you feel/felt trapped in by your abuser but ‘escaping‘ the ‘environment‘ in which your abuser first began to destroy you; in your own mind fed by a false-‘reality’ to emotionally isolate, overwhelm and psychologically overwrite – your very being.
In it, I attempt to convey the invisibly, imperceptibly and relentlessly projected induced dark depression suffered at the hands of a masked-Machiavellian mind – of an abusive partner.
My heartfelt sorrow and strength goes out to anyone who’s been a victim (and hopefully survivor) of domestic abuse, however as a male survivor of female domestic abuse – and I know this isn’t very fashionable – I’d specifically like to resonate with men who have survived or are being unwittingly subjected to gaslight abuse.
The relentless feelings associated with the projected dissonance and guilt-inadequacy suffered at the hands and twisted mind of your abusive ‘better half’ and the societal shame, invalidation and isolation attached to being a male victim/survivor – are not yours to own.
As a confident, self-assured man, a former Sergeant-Major with a successful 25 years served in the British Army I can assure you – if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. But being in love with the wrong, toxic person will make you ‘anyone‘.
I want to let men know – you are not alone.
But I also want to let you know – there’s a very dark reason for believing you are isolated, that you are alone…
You see men currently make up a full third of domestic abuse/violence victims, not only in UK as highlighted by the Mankind Initiative but broadly speaking too, across English-speaking western-democracies; such as the State suppressed One In Three Campaign in Australia.
But men are also 2-3 times less likely to report their abuse than their female-victim counterparts. So the truth of Domestic Violence, like most truths, lays somewhere in the middle.
But truth it is also said, is the first casualty of war. It is; it has to be in order to start the war.
Because this ‘full third’ male-victim DV fact has been hidden from society by successive ‘democracies’ and western-global media alike for an ideological, #FeelingsTrumpFacts fascist purpose; a purpose which I stumbled upon having unwittingly become hyper-sensitised to ‘gaslighting‘…
My idea, the ‘inspiration’ for the route the book took was triggered by a moment that I can only describe as ‘TV PTSD’ (yes bizarre I know!)
I had it when watching a well known female current affairs personality on the BBC on the 12th September 2016, during which, she described an England male sports star as “pathetic”.
But it wasn’t simply the context-pejorative word by itself, it was the intonation, the intent, the invisible, deniable toxicity of the delivery; it felt personal.
This was obviously a curious, even bewildering thing in itself especially given that this was my second ’bout’ of PTSD I’d ever experienced. The first bout, was not related to military operational experiences in the Army but was upon seeing my abusive former girlfriend in the street during which, I simply ‘froze‘.
You see, I know when I’m being gaslighted as prior to inducing my depression, my abuser would level and deliver such deniable yet destructive toxic intonation; which if I attempted to challenge, she’d paint herself the victim, accusing me of overreacting, overthinking and general paranoia. And I believed her; repeatedly apologising for my (deliberately sleep-deprived) ‘behaviour‘.
I believed her to the point of doubting my thoughts and actions before, during and after saying or doing anything, worried about how they might be perceived to the point of questioning my own sanity, but then unwittingly turning back to her, the toxic source – for ‘help‘.
After the initial ‘TV PTSD’ episode it took 2-3 months to accept what I’d experienced via mainstream media was deliberate and then another two to understand there was indeed a design. A design to set entire populations up, to fail – in order they turn back to the abuser, upon the abusers own trigger – for ‘help’.
Within days of that bizarre experience I’d began monitoring the UK MSM, mainly the BBC & Sky News and came up with six key ’emotional-behavioural’ drivers, which also as it transpired fed into UK Government policies and legislation.
And on reflection were the same drivers my abusive partner drowned me in by drip-effect without my realising.
And then I came to understand, that the psychological and emotional abuse behaviour-characteristics of individual narcissism are by group extension, the same as that of State fascism.
Only the former happens in person and the latter by media, weaponised within the perfect “invisible propaganda” that Joseph Goebbels spoke of (as per the Dark Triad model I developed above).
(I was so convinced and still am, that I’m right, I went to Berlin to voice through the Irish Embassy my concerns on the 25th June 2017 and inadvertently alerted FIVE Berlin-based agencies.
My ‘rationale’ for this irrationality, was that Berlin had seen tyranny twice in the 20th Century and well, the Irish have probably endured the most diabolical of experiences of any of these islands at the hands of the aristocratic elite-estate.
I arrived on Friday 23rd June and had intended to go straight to the Irish Embassy, however it was closed. Over the course of the weekend I’d observed a guard rotation outside, what transpired to be a Bundes (national) Polizie station opposite the ARCOTEL John F. Berlin at Werderscher Markt 11, 10117 where I was staying.
But also over the course of that weekend I got into a somewhat panicked state and by the Sunday evening, it became too much to wait for the Irish Embassy to open the following morning. I approached the two German policemen on duty at the time – and politely and panicked, after about 10 minutes, to tell them Brexit was a coup, citing British (& US) government-media fascism & challenging their ‘procedural bureaucracy’ to convince them to take me into the station, which one of them eventually did.
In the station, they took my details and put me in touch via phone with the Irish Embassy, to whom I attempted to articulate my interpretations as best I could in the circumstances. I spent the following five hours or so being passed between agencies (another book in itself!) during which all (mostly!) were sympathetic but of course all – thought I was a lunatic. Well;
“Perhaps a lunatic was a minority of one”. Orwell.
So, whether delivered by a trusted partner or by TV, both very personal; it’s meant to be. And of course, they both occur ‘behind closed doors’…
Welcome to gaslighting. Welcome to hell.
Imagine a nation-State behaving like an abusive narcissistic partner or parent; who you love, but through their drip-fed projected psychological manipulation & induced physiological deprivation & depression, demean and deny you of your dignity into an agitated response…
…but bathing themselves in pathological hypocrisy, superiority entitlement & inveterate victimhood, they gaslight and convince you, that it’s you that’s losing your mind, that it’s you who has mental health issues in order you unwittingly turn to back to them for ‘help’, for psychological salvation, which of course they do only too obligingly…
So the broad idea of my book, set in a ‘fictional’ island State called ‘Narcisstate’, is that if an individual abusive narcissist can gaslight another individual into deniable psychological and emotional failure, only for the abused individual to unwittingly turn to the same abuser for ‘help’, then an entire highly organised, orchestrated and established group of narcissists with the collective Dark Triad personality traits; Machiavellianism and psychopathy, can using Goebbels ‘invisible propaganda’, provide the ‘background music’ that makes the recipient-masses ‘feel‘.
To make them feel fearful yet fearless, powerful yet emasculate, morally superior yet compliantly, acquiescently inferior; in order the democratically elected leadership can divide and deliver the masses into their own destruction; waging domestic poverty and foreign war upon the patriotic-programmed masses in order that the few will profiteer by maintaining the current hierarchical-structural divisions of society.
All delivered through the mainstream media to gaslight the masses and in doing so deliver them into a constant, cyclical state of highly emotionalised mass-cognitive dissonance only for the masses to deliver the predetermined outcomes the power so desires;
a fearlessly fearful confused and angry population set up to fail but who then collectively and unwittingly turn to ‘It‘, the architect of the the Dark Triad agenda in order they can survive by clinging onto the only recognisable ‘saviour’ housed in the interests of the corporate-government estate; whilst simultaneously maiming and murdering the minorities in a brief bout of high-intensity brutal violence on behalf of ‘It‘.
The targets; as ever, the minorities ‘It’ previously segregated for signposted abuse in the years and with ever-increasing concentrations of psychological reinforcement in the months, then weeks before ‘It’ was ready to trigger a false-flag operation that would rival 9/11; Operation Fukuglaschu (that was) to be staged in July 2017, in a symbolic recreation of the WWI 1914 ‘July Crisis‘.
This mass-gaslighting achieved through weaponising TV and film ‘entertainment‘ – especially by corporate charities – as well as ‘news‘, to weaponise emotions and feelings in order to remove the masses from their otherwise logical cognitive thought and behavioural processes, channelling their collective hobbled ‘hive-mind’ to deliver the domestic political consent for foreign war outcomes the Dark Triad desires; at home in Narcisstate and in ‘spice’ (oil) fields abroad.
At home the mission is to maintain control of the streets domestically by concentrating force through the overt and subliminal military-recruitment through the nexus of the black, flatscreen Universe; cinematic, TV and tablet as the population are driven by manufactured, manipulated economic-apartheid propaganda; a deprivation, debt and depression inducing terrorism – called Austerity.
All in order to attain a low-wage, low-skilled, low-aspiration, poorly educated but brilliantly indoctrinated and loyal populous to follow Narcisstate’s flag The Flexagon to ‘volunteer’ to join-up, to go and fight for false-flag freedom and democracy in regions abroad that just happen to be situated on significant global spice market supplies.
Spice, the false-empowerment, escapism drug of choice for both prisoners incarcerated within Narcisstate’s soon-to-be privatised post-‘Nexit’ super-prisons and those who will become ‘Schrodinger’s-slaves’; the next generation of ‘willing’ soldier ants.
However in order to achieve this; to militarise and mobilise Narcisstate’s New Modern Army before a tech-savvy new generation rumbles the Dark Triad agenda and discovers the true powers behind Narcisstate, behind the Crown – need to secure the cyber-surveillance services of this very same new generation, the backbone of which, will be newly and toxically-empowered young women.
The corporate-government estate is driven by Ignoreland’s and Narcisstate’s joint global bank-‘spice’ and #PrisonMilitaryIndustrialComplex interests and the military-recruitment face of which, is the mainstream media; principally the ‘news’ which provides their fake-veracity.
Collectively, The Corpolitique knowing the plebs better than they know themselves, easily distract and frighten the masses, unless of course they believe themselves to be in the presence of perceived weakness.
But they can’t be weak for now, only frightened and distracted and so an increase in Islamic ‘terror’ attacks over a short period of time needs to ‘hit home’ before they, the public, turn the TV channel over to another reality TV talent show; the addictive distraction dreamed up by the intellectual Taliban dressed in pinstripe suits.
Knowing how crucial it is to maintain fear, the Corpolitique need to deliver a false-flag crescendo incident housed in IT based computer-hack linked to spice-laden Iran via North Korea, that will compel the gaslit populous to afford ‘It’ the consent-authority It so desires in order to speedily and legislatively irreversably, pass through speeded up emergency cyber-space legislation – and of course go to war.
This is vaunted by the Corpolitique for the protection of the public – but of course will forever give The Party power over internet and personal communication privacy,
In short, the complete and wholesale State dominance of cyber-space; from the bedroom to the Boardroom and in turn, from the Bureaucrat’s to the battlefield and beyond and with it, the Corpolitique’s realisation of a tightly knit, yellow submarine-sealed militarised Police & Cyber Surveillance State within a Perfect Dictatorship…
And so having the foresight to deplete the current eye-wateringly expensive army (especially the upkeep of pensions) in terms of manpower and resources the Corpolitique set about a profiteering exercise in a form of ‘constructive dismissal’ much as they have to the Police to adversely effect a low morale.
Because they know the as yet unspoken future of the New Modern Army will be housed not in Barracks accomodation or Married Quarters but across the entire island of Narcisstate as they feed the perennial, perpetual global-resources acquisition war-machine by channelling a new generation of ‘Pavlov’s Patriots’ & ‘Skinners Soldiers’; men and boys psychologically and physiologically ‘push and pull’ steered towards the Maslow-deprived military to sign up as ‘volunteers’ most of whom being the main target-demographic for Narcisstate’s Army; white heterosexual males; a new Nazi army.
This is where the Corpolitique’s Dark Triad design, set against the backdrop of an all-encompassing, enveloping music and multiple film remake nostalgia targeted at the time-transporting memories of the Baby Boomer and Gen X generations and all under the ‘legitimacy’ guise of the three key propaganda umbrellas; the Istanbul Convention, Austerity and Brexit which overlapped, deliver the six key components; to Emasculate, Invalidate (especially the suppression of domestic abuse perpetrated against men), to Isolate, Agitate, Segregate (signposting minorities) and Amalgamate (through militarised victimhood).
With decades of ideologically-driven omissions, lies and lead-in, these six ’emotional-behavioural’ drivers almost without exception, provide the basis of almost every single mainstream media ‘news’ and entertainment output to deliver the design; to inject within the minds of the populous a false-phenomenological experience and existence, a pseudo-reality, most notably spearheaded by a manufactured and entirely manipulated Anglosphere government-media fermented RAMPANT SEXISM gender-war…
This #DuluthDoctrine made-up feeling of unfairness, of manufactured victimhood, compels women to believe they are being stifled, held back within a mass-misogynist society and encourages them fight back as Suffragettes against their oppressors; the white heterosexual males – who themselves, save the faux window-dressing concerns for their mental-health well-being – and by deliberate omission get shut out by the mainstream media’s projected Nanny State ‘fictional-reality’ and as such, are therefore frozen out, conversationally-ostricised from society at large which has itself become entranced, self-enslaved by weaponised-emotionalised distractive sport and drama entertainment designed to help deliver an island of ‘Huxley’s Heroes’.
And so in hidden-truth, the Corpolitique’s agenda is one of industrial-scale mass-misandry – and the overlooked, frustrated, simmering angering ‘invisible’ but incredibly ‘patriotic’ men will snap at a time of the Corpolitique’s trigger choosing at which time they will become all too visible with their Flexagon flag-led murderous eyes steeped in manipulated victimhood…
Because victimhood, is an essential ingredient for which both the individual narcissist and its group-characteristic political extension; the fascist needs to lay claim to in order to thrive.
But here’s the kicker; Narcisstate is but one of a number of corporate-government complicit western democracies undergoing a wider ‘meta-fascist’ global coup d’état.
But the wider global coup appears to have a loose signature pattern…
Via an already convivial-incumbent party or a beguiling-Blair like figure, or even a blatantly unqualified puppet parachuted in, the plutocratic plotters give the illusion of stymying the progress of the far-right – who also belong to the coup – to win elections and referenda.
Yet all the while their incumbent-government puppets form and implement left-wing gender-dissonance and division policies in primary schools, whilst implementing right-wing ‘appeasing’ policies – and actions – feigning resistance to the right but dragging these western country’s democracies evermore further to the right regardless.
The Corpolitique’s mainstream media of course maintain that they are merely reporting on the effects of party policies but seamlessly against an inter-generational backdrop of a xenophobic, ignorant sexist Press Media they insert their sleepers and useful idiots by asserting that they are only reflecting the national mood.
This has been the media justification for giving repeated, recycled reinforcing ‘truth’ parliamentary-unrepresentative platforms to the leader of the Narcisstate Independence Party – especially on the Narcisstate Broadcasting Corporations’ flagship political discussion show Query Time.
In doing so they even ‘admit’ and ‘acknowledge’ publicly that they may have reported output with subconscious alarmist overtones in order to self-justify their need to chase ratings, revenue and printed-press sales. When in fact, this was merely the plausible-denial gaslight to drive the fascist agenda and steer the £350million Nexit bus with the “intelligent patriot” passenger populous; the Palindrome Parrots all aboard the Narcisstate nostaligic express, which like the almost ‘spice’-laden Berlin-Baghdad Railway a hundred years ago before it, sped towards The Great War.
And since when the well-trodden plebiscite ‘led and consented’ path has always and is now once again, being beaten to the rich spice-fields of the Middle East in a war so vast, so despairingly long, it will also enable the Corpolitique to ‘reset’ history for new generations – again.
But the campaign being so vast, bridged to span the Atlantic and pan-Oceanic continental shelves, so presciently laid, so pervasively omnipresent – so normal – it isn’t necessarily meant to be consciously seen but most certainly subconsciously felt.
And the campaign, combined with the ‘children’ (the adults) conditioned since ‘childlings’ (the kids) to be so trusting of the external, beguiling faces of the The Corpolitique elite who hypnotise them kaliedoscopic everywhere they turn, especially in the musically-nostalgic omnipresent supermarket-sweep tsunami of Flexagon flags; the brand-emblazoned ‘food-produce propaganda’.
Compared to the Corpolitique, they are as five year-old childlings who still believe in Santa. Only Santa – is Jimmy Savile.
Which has always been ‘It’s’ entirely inter-generational indoctrination-conditioning and invisible-propaganda purpose; to gift the children their feelings. Fearfully, yet fearlessly felt emotionalised-empowering purpose gifted by It to an entire island of Schrödinger-slave soldier ants…
Pleased to meet you. Won’t you guess my name?